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3 Reasons You Aren’t Getting Hard (Down There)

  • 8 min read

by Matt Weik

Gentlemen, there’s nothing more embarrassing than your significant other having to deal with a wet noodle when she’s in the mood. We’re talking about swinging around a lasso rather than giving her the sledgehammer in bed. What’s the deal? You’re too young to be having erectile dysfunction issues. And you’re girl… she’s HOT! She threw on some R. Kelly and she’s wearing that lingerie that you like. What’s the problem? You used to be a stallion in the sheets. Now you’re left checking the pulse of your limp baby arm. You need to figure it out—and fast! In order to help you with your bedroom issues, here are three reasons why you may have a spaghetti noodle in your drawers and possible ways to fix it.

1. You’ve been packing on the pounds

As we age, many guys tend to get so wrapped up in work and family life that they don’t continue making their health and fitness a priority. Major mistake. Those second helpings at dinner, the desserts relaxing in front of the television at night—they all lead to you now holding onto some extra weight around the midsection. To not sugar coat things and be more specific, you’re overweight or even obese at this point. As your weight creeps up, you’ll find you have a lower sex drive as well as a lackluster ability to perform. Those all-nighters went from sweat dripping sex sessions to playing knock-knock with your pecker seeing if anyone is home. That’s not a game you want to be engaged in. Hide the sausage sounds WAY better.

When you put on weight, your overall testosterone levels dip. When those levels drop, you’ll find your libido and rock hard erections go with it. Before, things were so much easier. Heck, the wind could blow and all of a sudden you were standing at attention. That’s why you see so many middle-aged men and elderly looking for the little blue pill. They aren’t interested in fixing the root cause, they’d rather let modern medicine give them a little help. And if they get the rare side effect where they have an erection for over four hours, well, sounds like he’s going to be having a great night. His significant other might not be walking right for a few days.

Something else you probably notice is before your weight gain, you were able to give it to her good. Back then you considered throwing a helmet on her so she wouldn’t get a concussion from the headboard. Now, you’re finding your new found little bit of extra love around the midsection getting in the way of things. That motion in the ocean has turned into a tsunami. It needs to end—and right now.

So, how do you fix this issue. It’s quite simple, the same way you did in the past. You need to exercise and eat a healthy sensible diet. Get back to hitting the weights and doing your cardio again. Stop eating fast food all the time. Minimize the snacking and ice cream late at night. I’m not telling you anything you didn’t already know. You need to lose weight, bottom line. Go back to a whole, natural food type of diet. Eliminate sugars from your diet and be aware of the kids of carbohydrates and fats you are eating.

Something else to consider is getting your testosterone levels checked. If the results are low, you might want to introduce a natural testosterone booster into your regimen that can be found online or any of your local supplement retailers around where you live. Or, talk to your doctor about testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) to get your levels back within the normal range. Modern medicine these days is amazing and with a little help from science, you can have your testosterone levels back within the normal range in no time.

2. Lack of quality sleep

You live a busy life. You have work, family, kids, etc. Sometimes you wonder if you can just sit down for a second to breathe. By the time you get everything done for the day it’s late at night and you have an early morning ahead of you. Your head hits the pillow and a few hours later the alarm clock is trying to get you back out of bed. You wake up swearing you only just fell asleep. This cycle continues every day, of every week. You’re not getting deep, restful sleep. You’re getting maybe four or six hours of sleep at the most when you should be getting a minimum of seven.

Lack of sleep can throw off the hormones in your body. When you get enough rest, you help your body regulate those hormones and continue producing enough natural testosterone. As you could imagine, when all of your hormones are within their normal levels, such as testosterone for example, your sex drive and libido will still be strong and thriving to the point where you’d wake up and swear your morning wood could drive nails into lumber.

You need to stick to a schedule. If you know you need to wake up at 6am every morning to go to work, then you should be prepared to have everything done for the day and in bed no later than 11pm. If you find you’re not falling sleep or staying asleep, you might want to consider a few things.

The first being your blinds in your bedroom. Do they block out the sunlight or is the bright sun waking you up before your alarm each morning? Second thing to consider is the temperature in your room. If your room is hot, most people have difficulty sleeping. Turn on the fan, air conditioning, or sleep with less layers of clothing or less sheets if you need to. The last thing you need to do in order to get a good night’s sleep is to turn off all of your electronic devices. Yes, off—completely. I can hear all of you yelling through the internet at me. If your cell phone is on, it’s going to ding and buzz every time you get a notification. And if you simply turn your phone to silent mode, most phones still illuminate when a message or notification comes through. Just that little bit of light might be enough to catch your eye if you’re tossing and turning. Or, knowing your phone is on, you might be tempted to check it and see what’s going on in the world of social media. So, for the sake of your sleep, just turn it off until the morning when you wake up. Soon enough when you’re finally getting enough sleep and your hormone levels are balanced, your libido and sex drive will improve and return back to normal. Not to mention, you’ll start waking up to a pitched tent again.

3. Anxiety and depression

People have different coping mechanisms, some of which are not very good. It’s said that around 10-20% of all libido and erectile dysfunction cases are due to the individual either having anxiety or going through a depressive state. But it gets even worse. If you go to the doctor and are diagnosed, the medication they may put you on to battle these conditions can cause a loss of libido and even erectile dysfunction. So, while on one hand you’re treating your anxiety or depression, your popping a pill that’s going to destroy your sex drive in the process. Anxiety and depression is a double-edge sword when it comes to pleasing your woman.

How can you mitigate anxiety and depression so you get back to some good lovin? That’s a tough one to answer. You obviously have the ability to go to a doctor who will more than likely put you on some type of prescription medication to help you get over your anxiety or depression, but other than that, you truly need to take a look at what’s bothering you. What is the cause of your anxiety or depression? If you can find what’s really causing this feeling, you can work towards fixing the problem.

Coming to an end (get it?)

If at the end of the day you have exhausted all possibilities mentioned above and you are still finding no change in your sex drive, libido, or hardness, it’s then time to bite the bullet and go see your doctor. There, they can fully diagnose what the issue might be. They may prescribe some medication to help with your little problem in the form of a little blue pill, or they might find something else wrong with your health that could be interfering. Either way, adhere to the guidelines of your doctor. After all, I’m no professional in this field. I’m no sex doctor, family doctor, or pharmacist. But I do know one thing… when it hurts to pee, urine trouble.