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  • 6 min read

by Matt Weik

Here we go again. Golf clap for the authorities. Good job GI Joe, you saved a menace from roaming the streets, being a harm to everyone in her path. The way the media ran with this story, you’d think she was some drug lord or serial killer. Listen, if I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a million more times… bodybuilding has a target on its back. In this case, it’s Melissa Valliere (some of you may know her as Iain Valliere’s wife or Chris Bumstead’s sister). Melissa is also an IFBB Figure Pro.

There are so many ways that I can take this article, but I’m honestly just going to let it flow as it goes from my head to my fingertips and to the keyboard. Clearly, this article is going to be my opinion. In terms of the information, I can only go by what has been reported in the news. I’ve heard that someone saw a story (maybe on Instagram) where Iain came out and made a statement saying that the information published following her arrest by the media is not accurate and is missing a bunch of information. That’s a lot to unpack but let’s get into this whole story.

Who Flippin’ Cares?

There, I said it. It’s probably been thought of and said by many others as well. We’re talking about steroids, people. Look, I fully understand that steroids are illegal, but nonetheless, we’re talking about steroids. (Insert Allen Iverson with his rant about practice… “We talkin’ bout practice. Not the game. Practice.”)

How many times in the news have you heard of someone overdosing on steroids? Is there some steroid epidemic going on in the streets of Chicago where people are overdosing on street corners? And other than Craig Titus, how many cases have you heard on the news where someone who used steroids turned into a killer? It just so happens that the steroids weren’t the issue with Craig Titus and Kelly Ryan. Which, if you haven’t already read my articles on them, you should check them out (Article 1, Article 2, Article 3).

My point is, we’re talking about “drugs” that help with physical enhancement (i.e., muscle growth, strength, fat loss, etc.). We aren’t talking about cocaine or fentanyl that causes major issues. It’s not like Melissa was planning on selling or distributing it where the “users” were at risk. I could go off on a tangent as to why I don’t think steroids should be illegal, but I’m pretty sure I already have a few of those articles floating around on the internet already you can search for.

Next is where things start getting a little hairy (and no, I’m not talking about the side effects of females taking anabolics).

What Does This ACTUALLY Mean?

To lay the foundation, according to the documents, it appears that Melissa received (and opened) a package that was shipped to an LLC’s address but with her name on the label. The contents included testosterone propionate, drostanolone propionate, oxandrolone, along with some other prescription medications. As you’d imagine, every single one of them is illegal.

Can I fault her for the arrest? Yes. She’s technically breaking the law and knew what she purchased was not legal. As a side note, I hope she immediately called Rick Collins.

Here are a few things I’m getting at with the “what does this ACTUALLY mean.”

1. Were the Steroids Actually for Her?

As I stated earlier, this article is my opinion, and there will be pieces (like pretty much the rest of this article) where I’m going to speculate various scenarios. In this instance, what if the steroids weren’t really for her? What if they were for Iain or Chris? Will she take the fall for them? Or were they really for her? Did she order them for Iain or Chris because their supplier is from Canada, and they’re currently down in Florida and wanted the same stuff? Therefore she used her name for the order since Iain’s or Chris’ name is more recognized? Who knows?

2. How Will This Affect Melissa’s Career?

Overall, how will this change her competition career? While the IFBB doesn’t really speak out about steroids, they don’t demonize them either. In the past, they said they drug test, but let’s be real… That’s a wink-wink, nod-nod. ‘Cause Big Ramy is clearly natural. Seriously, they haven’t tested anyone (other than Shawn Ray, LOL). Will the IFBB be forced to step in here and make a statement or penalize her? Or will they stay out of it and not say a word? Will she be able to compete in the future or have some sort of ban handed down to her?

3. How Will This Affect Iain?

For starters, this is his wife. I’m assuming he came up with the money to bail her out. The amount was not specified, but it was said that she posted bail and was released. With the momentum that Iain has going into the latter part of the bodybuilding season, how will this affect him? I hate to say it, but will the judges look at Iain differently with this hanging over his head? Will the stress of the situation hurt Iain’s prep?

4. How Will This Affect Chris?

Lastly, Melissa is Chris Bumstead’s sister — his blood. Being that he’s looking to retain his title at this year’s Olympia, will this negatively affect him at all? Chris has been cruising along with his entire off-season, making a ton of progress. But will this change his look or even his placing?

Will the authorities investigate who the steroids were really for? Was it really for Melissa, or was she the decoy? What if it was really for Iain or Chris? Will we ever know? I’m sure more details may come out, but as always, bodybuilding is yet again in the media’s crosshairs.