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The Average Mentality Theory and Why It’s Holding You Back

  • 6 min read

by Matt Weik

If you’re reading this, you may be stuck in some aspect of your life. Maybe it’s your fitness? Maybe it’s your career or business? Maybe it’s a relationship? You can fill in the blank with whatever you want. The fact is, we all go through life and sometimes feel like we’ve walked into quicksand where we feel stuck. You look around, and others have stepped into it too and seem comfortable where they are. We seem to accept the fact that we aren’t going anywhere and just make ourselves comfortable. This is where the average mentality theory sets in.

What is the average mentality theory? It’s where you think it’s fine to stay where you are and be just like everyone around you — average. Where the expectation for growth is thrown out the window. Why be the wolf when you can blend in with the crowd of sheep? Dan Peña is known for very popular saying, “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.”

Dan is absolutely correct. If you surround yourself with winners, you’re more likely to grow into one. If you surround yourself with losers, you’ll soon enough be a loser too.

Why Should You Care About the Average Mentality Theory?

Look around you in the world today. How many people around you do you see out there absolutely crushing it? Maybe they’re in the gym pushing their body to its limits every day? Maybe it’s a buddy who stopped hitting happy hour every Friday after work and is staying in the office late to get ahead in their job and career? If you don’t see these people around you, you may succumb to the average mentality theory. And unfortunately, it will lead you nowhere in life.

If you don’t have leaders with whom you surround yourself, you either need to go find them and connect with them or work on self-improvement by yourself.

So, let’s dive into the actual answer as to why you should actually care about the average mentality theory. This is important based on your personal, business, and financial goals.

Are you the type of person who is okay being comfortable, working your 9-5, making the money you are, and living the current life you are? If so, just go ahead and stop reading this article as it’s not for you. But if you’re sitting there wanting more for yourself, then you need to pay close attention to what’s being said in this article.

When you meet up with old friends or family that you haven’t seen for a while, what do they say to you? If they say, “It’s like you haven’t changed one bit,” you’re in trouble. Why would you want to be the same person? Why wouldn’t you want to be a fitter version of your previous self? Why wouldn’t you want to walk differently? Present yourself differently? Speak differently? You should want people to say, “Man, I hardly recognize you… It’s like you’re a totally different person.” THAT is what you want to hear.

You should want to grow and improve in every aspect of your life. Become an autodidact and be self-taught. You can read books, take courses, get a mentor, watch YouTube videos, and hang around with people more successful than you. This will allow you to learn new skills, apply new strategies, and move ahead. The fact of the matter is that the average mentality theory holds you back. And sometimes, your friends and family are the worst offenders — trying to hold you back and keep you at their level.

Stop Limiting Yourself and Listening to Bad Advice

Living with the average mentality theory limits your ability to be productive and innovative. It causes you to lack creativity and critical thinking. There’s no initiative to do better. You probably lack goals. You’d rather fit in with the crowd rather than stand out and show everyone what you’re capable of.

You need to stop comparing yourself to those who are on your current level and average. Start looking forward. Look at people you aspire to be. Learn what they’ve done to move ahead and create success for themselves. How can you take that same blueprint and apply it or massage it to fit your own situation?

When looking into the negative effects of being average, I found an article from PsychologyToday.com that tried to justify why it’s “good to be average.” The author calls himself “Mr. Personality” (if you must call yourself that, you probably have a horrible personality) and apparently has a Ph.D. He says in his article, “If you want to avoid most physical and psychological illnesses, being average is one of your best options.” You can’t be serious, right?

What “Mr. Personality” is essentially saying is that it’s ok for you to be average and just like everyone else. That, it’s tough improving yourself, and if you don’t want to go through the challenges of growth, that it’s fine. I’m going to call it like it is and excuse the language, but this guy must be a weak-minded little bitch. Trying to convince people it’s ok to be average? Who does that? Oh, I know. People who don’t want others to improve have that mentality because it makes them look bad for staying the same and being average.

You Need to Trust the Process

It doesn’t matter what area of your life you want to stop being average with. During your journey of self-improvement, you will have people who will want to pull you down. They don’t want you to improve (this may be friends and/or family). Block out the noise and keep moving forward. What you’re doing is for you, not them. They don’t need to understand or even support what you’re doing. Stay headstrong and keep pushing ahead.

On top of people trying to hold you back, you’re going to have some roadblocks along the way. Understand what caused it and find ways to navigate around it. If the process were easy, everyone would be surpassing their own limitations and making improvements to their lives.

Lastly, it’s ok to act crazy and think differently. Do you think everyone was behind the Wright brothers when they said they were going to build something that would fly through the air? No. People thought they were crazy. Now, we hop on a plane and fly around the world whenever we want — all because people didn’t want to be average and wanted more.

That can be you if you stop living with the average mentality theory. Stop creating excuses for why you can’t do something, why you can’t improve, and why it’s ok for you to be average. Go out there and be great. There’s nothing that can hold you back if you have the right mindset, focus, and determination to go out and accomplish it. The time is now to go out there and start executing!